blackcatbash's Xanga

-omgomgomgomgkill-

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:14:17 GMT

omfgomfgomfgomfgiamgoingtokillsamtomorrow.

Kill.

I totally tried to call his bluff when he was like, 'Oh, I'm going to see if g-wow would go to homecoming with you, is that all right?' I was like, sure, 'cause I thought he wouldn't, because he was Sam, and Sam wasn't supposed to do this to me.

But he did. he used my name. And G-wow would go with me. He even asked if I was going to ask him.

And, omniously, dear Sam replied, "Mayyyybe,"

omg. D<

Oh well. it's what Spammy wanted for me. I guess that it's good for me to move on. c:

But, oh, my god. I'm still going to totally kill Sam tomorrow. After I ask G-wow, of course.

text

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:32:48 GMT

So I've been in a really fowl mood for the past few days. (Who woulda known?)

Kat and I got ino this big-ass fight about particularly nothing. Well, in my opinion, she was being extremely...lose on how she felt about this guy. She texted me saying 'pray that tomorrow goes well for me.' And I totally had no clue what she was talking about.

Like with all my fucking friends. Like with Sam and Justina going to homecoming together. I'm always out of he damned loop.

But. Anyways. I texted back, with the usual 'huh?' And she gets into this long explanation about how she want to go for the 'break' with Tyler--Taylor--and she wasn't sure how she felt and blah blah blahhh. But, apparently, I was supposed to understand where she was coming from.

Apparently indeed.

But I don't get it. it sounds like she's making excuses so she won't have to go out with the guy. And what really ticks me off is the fact that she's not exactly sure if she likes him. Like, as in, she doesn't get the butterflies in her stomach type feeling. And she felt like staying friends would be better.

Oh. My. God. Just shut the hell up. Everyone.

You don't go out with a person if you're not sure what you feel about them! That's just plain cruel. How is it fair to them if you string wthem along for a few days--maybe weeks--and then flat out decide that it's 'best that they stay friends' type of shit.

I've gotten the 'hey-let's-just-be-friends-even-when-I'm-the-school-whore-and-totally-for-some-odd-reason-still-not-attracted-to-you' talk. Even though Kat (I dunno about Taylor) isn't a whore, and I'm pretty sure he isn't, it's along the same lines.

So how the fuck am I supposed to fucking understand?

So I told her exactly what I thought she was doing. She got pissed, said a few things, and I hit them right back at her.

And I still don't plan on talking to her for a while. I'm just that pissed. I am not going to have the same fucking view point everyone wants me to have.

But yeah. This week has totally sucked ass. No Joke. Spammy's not coming, and we're just friends...so...and homecoming...

I hate my band directors too. Why the hell do we have to add on another hour to practice tomorrow when we already had five?

Spammy

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 02:42:14 GMT

So, Ike is like, right over us, I think. I can hear the winds outside. It's pretty creepy. Like in those horror movies. Ick.

So, anyways. Something wonderful happened to me a few days ago. Good and bad. Something I wanted so badly.

Why won't you just commit - I don't want to look back and say, "What if?"

You have no idea how much I want this.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:46:24 GMT

My god. I think I've finally lost it.

I actually had the nerve to compare Aaron to a cloud of all things.

A cloud. Wow.

And the sad thing is, it actually fits, in some perversed way.

But at least I'm writing again.

Left

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:23:40 GMT

I feel really weird right now.

It's still a shock my best friend left for college...and I miss her already.

I hope she realizes how much she means to me, and if she doesn't call me every fucking day to tell me what happened with Man Candy/Soul Mate, I will hunt her down.

I'm just in a jam right now.

I haven't been happy for a few days, though I knew this was going to happen.

This just made it so much worse. But I'm happy for her.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:54:09 GMT

So, I feel like, dead today.

I thought I slept through my alarm, but as it turns out, it went off at 8:30pm instead of in the morning...stupid me. D:

And the rock-a-thon was pretty hilarious. Watching Justina, Shabnam, and Saleema play chubby bunny was pretty gross, though. Even James threw up...ew.

-Shudders-

And someone gave me a highfive, which totally made my night. :D

And playing volley ball with dunderheads was pretty sad, I have to admit. I was the only good one...which was pretty sad. And I could take Marianne in basketball, but with Justina on my team...we had no chance. How sad.

My friends are pretty klutzy.

Haha.

But over all, it was pretty good.

And then last night, I wrote the very end of the Black Silk Rewrite. I changed it up. A lot. To where I'm going to piss a lot of people off, I think. But the newish ending is better than what I planned - more befitting.

And, instead of GT, I'm actually iching to write Laine's story, which I totally wasn't going to do. x__x So I think I'll give up on rewriting GT and just go with Laine's story...and I already have my NaNoWriMo story planned, I think...or maybe I should combine that with Laine's story...

Oh shit.

I'm losing it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:42:10 GMT

I don't understand a lot of things.

But this is stupid.

I know that for a fact.

You're not much better than him, y'know.

Owza

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:38:59 GMT

So. I have to say. My toe really hurts right now.

Like, seriously. More than my knee.

Oh dear.

But yeah. That's the price band comes with. D: Though we're starting drill tomorrow morning, and I actually can't wait. I know. I'm a nerd, but I can't help it. It's more fun this way, I have to say.

Oh. Today was rather different. First off, I started my day off with band (duh) came home, then got ready for my very last drive time.

The car's battery somehow managed to die.

It was hot.

Like seriously. D:

Oh well. I guess I should be used to that by now. :)

And yesterday was fun. Bitching out this guy I knew - haha. fun stuff. :)

Phopra on the Move

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 02:02:18 GMT

So yup. Lately I've been helping everyone deal with their problems. It feels like old times, like with Julie.

It's nice to feel needed again, in a weird way.

No one really knows about my friendship with her, and I intend for it to stay that way...well, Kat does. She knows everything. She beats it out of me normally.

But the only thing I don't like about it is the fact everyone talks to me about their problems - be it love or advice on petty things - but I don't really have anyone to talk to about my stuff. It's weird. I mean, I have my friends, yeah. I tell them most things normally.

And I think it's been affecting my writing. It's bugging me.

I was in a really good mood when I started writing BSR, and it was going good for the first half, but now it's getting harder, and I'm becoming...I don't know. I just haven't been really ridiculously happy lately.

Ugh. It's just been bothering me.

:BB

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:32:06 GMT

I'm really tired, but I don't know why. =/

I'm getting new glasses tomorrow. D: I look horrid in glasses. I'm not looking forward to that. And my tooth is still sore, from that filling I got yesterday. It's rather painful, when I yawn. Ouch! D;

But today was rather interesting with Syd...with the Zutara talk and Sims and Twilight. :]