Wow. Impressive rant.

It's similar to why I have decided that teenage boys are nice to look at and all (for the most part)....but I really wouldn't want to actually have to talk to them.

My friend Angela and I were talking about that over lunch today. We both have the same problem with saying yes to guys and then getting bored with them after like, a month. I know. We're horrible people. But life isn't like stories, dude, as much as we wish for it to be.

But I say let people do their own shit, you know? if they want to screw themselves over then let them screw themselves over. They'll learn the hard way in the end.

It's really all part of the stupid dating scenario...and from what I can tell it isn't going to get any better as people get older anyway. I mean...look at MY parents...

hey... look, just to clear a few things up, here are a few things.

I did, do?, like him, a lot actually but i know that he did not like me as much as I felt for him. Here is the story; okay, so you know my friend Vikas? well he is going out with this girl Becca. And for all of the time that I have know Taylor, well except while we were together of course, he talked about how much he liked this girl. even last year on the trip. But Vikas decides that he is going to do something about it, so he decides to tell Taylor that Becca hates him, and wants to never speak to him again, and Taylor, of course, got pissed but pretended like he was fine. so after a couple of days Vikas told me that Taylor liked me, and i went crazy over this idea that he did, because i liked him too. and the next day, ta-da i got a homecoming date. and a couple days after that, ta-da boyfriend. And then Vikas and Becca got together...uh-oh. and while we were in the hall he saw them walking together and asked vikas about it and he said, yes he was lieing about what he said, and ta-da pissed taylor. and then, i talk to Vikas the next day and here comes the last uh-oh; taylor calls becca. he decides to ask her if she really said that, (no she didn't) and that he still liked her (me saying say what) and wondering if now there is really a chance that they could get together again (me saying say what) she says no, she is taken right now and you are too, he says, i don't care about that you know i like you more than her (bomb comes flying in and crashes) and during this whole conversation, vikas is sitting right there. and then final reaction ta-da no more boyfriend, and ta-da no more homecoming date.

and if you were wondering why i didn't say that in the first place? well i am telling all of my friends that because i do not want to be looked at like a freak because guess what, kind of the same thing happened last year with him (the other guy not the same guy of course) asking out two? three? girls after i said yes to him. for a long time i have been the inexpericed one. the kid, and i didn't want more people saying crap, so i made up something that sounded like a good story, and went along with it, hoping no one will question, and because you are you, you did.

and for the understanding part, im sorry. for that i have no excuse. i truly do not know what i was saying, i was mad and upset and i feel horrible that you were on the end of that. i know that you are still going to be mad, and you have a right to be after this because i probably deserve more than it right now, but i just wanted to tell you what was really going on, because you have a right to know. im really sorry for all of this. i miss talking to you and miss you.

ily ~kat