-omgomgomgomgkill-

omfgomfgomfgomfgiamgoingtokillsamtomorrow.

Kill. 

I totally tried to call his bluff when he was like, 'Oh, I'm going to see if g-wow would go to homecoming with you, is that all right?'  I was like, sure, 'cause I thought he wouldn't, because he was Sam, and Sam wasn't supposed to do this to me.

D:

But he did.  he used my name.  And G-wow would go with me.  He even asked if I was going to ask him.

And, omniously, dear Sam replied, "Mayyyybe,"

omg.  D<

Oh well.  it's what Spammy wanted for me.  I guess that it's good for me to move on.  c:

But, oh, my god.  I'm still going to totally kill Sam tomorrow.  After I ask G-wow, of course.

text

So I've been in a really fowl mood for the past few days.  (Who woulda known?)

Kat and I got ino this big-ass fight about particularly nothing.  Well, in my opinion, she was being extremely...lose on how she felt about this guy.  She texted me saying 'pray that tomorrow goes well for me.'  And I totally had no clue what she was talking about.

Like with all my fucking friends.  Like with Sam and Justina going to homecoming together.  I'm always out of he damned loop.

But.  Anyways.  I texted back, with the usual 'huh?'  And she gets into this long explanation about how she want to go for the 'break' with Tyler--Taylor--and she wasn't sure how she felt and blah blah blahhh.  But, apparently, I was supposed to understand where she was coming from.

Apparently indeed.

But I don't get it.  it sounds like she's making excuses so she won't have to go out with the guy.  And what really ticks me off is the fact that she's not exactly sure if she likes him.  Like, as in, she doesn't get the butterflies in her stomach type feeling.  And she felt like staying friends would be better.

Oh.  My.  God.  Just shut the hell up.  Everyone.

You don't go out with a person if you're not sure what you feel about them!  That's just plain cruel.  How is it fair to them if you string wthem along for a few days--maybe weeks--and then flat out decide that it's 'best that they stay friends' type of shit.

I've gotten the 'hey-let's-just-be-friends-even-when-I'm-the-school-whore-and-totally-for-some-odd-reason-still-not-attracted-to-you' talk.  Even though Kat (I dunno about Taylor) isn't a whore, and I'm pretty sure he isn't, it's along the same lines.

So how the fuck am I supposed to fucking understand?

So I told her exactly what I thought she was doing.  She got pissed, said a few things, and I hit them right back at her.

And I still don't plan on talking to her for a while.  I'm just that pissed.  I am not going to have the same fucking view point everyone wants me to have.

But yeah.  This week has totally sucked ass.  No Joke.  Spammy's not coming, and we're just friends...so...and homecoming...

I hate my band directors too.  Why the hell do we have to add on another hour to practice tomorrow when we already  had five?

Spammy

So, Ike is like, right over us, I think.  I can hear the winds outside.  It's pretty creepy.  Like in those horror movies.  Ick.

So, anyways.  Something wonderful happened to me a few days ago.  Good and bad.  Something I wanted so badly.

Why won't you just commit - I don't want to look back and say, "What if?"

You have no idea how much I want this.

My god.  I think I've finally lost it.

I actually had the nerve to compare Aaron to a cloud of all things. 

A cloud.  Wow.

And the sad thing is, it actually fits, in some perversed way.

But at least I'm writing again.

C:

Left

I feel really weird right now. 

It's still a shock my best friend left for college...and I miss her already.

I hope she realizes how much she means to me, and if she doesn't call me every fucking day to tell me what happened with Man Candy/Soul Mate, I will hunt her down.

I'm just in a jam right now.

I haven't been happy for a few days, though I knew this was going to happen.

This just made it so much worse.  But I'm happy for her.